Sometimes I want to try to give up something. Partly to see what will happen. Partly to see if I can. And maybe partly to see if I miss it or something.
I did this with meat. Not eating (land) animals (couldn't give up sushi). I did it pretty successfully for a few years. There were some benefits. But ultimately I chose to be a carnivore again. Because, bacon. And steak. Oh my $GOD, a good steak would be fantastical right now.
I don't quite know what brought this latest one on, or maybe I do but don't want to fully admit to it. Social Media. Facebook & Google+ were the worst offenders for me. I work at a computer. I am almost surgically attached to my stupid (super smart) phone. I like facebook. I only kind of like Google+ (yes I work for Google, these are my opinions and not that of my employer). But I was checking it every goddamn minute. It was getting too much. I share a lot. We're social creatures right? I want to have a rich and fulfilling life. Faceblock (and to some extent, G+/-) makes me lazy. It does give me interesting things to read and shows me fun and pretty pictures. But it gives me a passive way to socialize with people I don't see often or don't make enough of an effort to see, call or write or ping even.
So what to do? Sign out of Facebook. Yes I kept Facebook Messenger (it's actually a really good way to chat with people 1:1 or in groups). Uninstalled the app from my phone. Whew. Do I still type in http://faceboo.. yes. Damnit. What about Google+? Well you can't uninstall it from your Android device. So I kept checking it yesterday. Fuck. But I could hide the shit out of it (what does that even mean?? I don't know, but it sounds like I'm serious) with Nova Launcher. The only problem is that I live in Google. The little bell shows me when there's a +1, comment, etc. I can't sign out of it or you know..consequences: no email, music, etc. Well let's see how the whole self control thing pans out here.
It's been hard. Not hard like manual labor, time in prison, or (damnit, I just opened a new tab and started typing facestupidfuck) whatever, but it's a habitual psychological crutch. I want to see if I make better use of those squandered seconds and get some mindfulness and presence... in the present. I want to see if those minutes turn into useful exercises in thought.
Will I go back? Yes, probably yes. Maybe this will help me, maybe this will turn me into a hermit drinking alone in my apartment while I lament to myself about how I should share this on faceboo..k. Or you know, Google+.
Disclaimer: Views are my personal brand of crazy, not my employer or those around me.